Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Randomize
