i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I just found a bag of teeth...
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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