I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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