I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
