Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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