Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I smell like Dick and happiness
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