Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
