your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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