the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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