I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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