Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
