He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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