No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
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and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
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It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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