i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize
