Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I smell stomach acid.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
