You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
It was like getting head from an anaconda
It's never too late to be topless.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
