I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Randomize
