Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I haven't been this sober since birth.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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