did you get engaged???
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
You can't special order awesome
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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