you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
