this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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