Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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