4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Randomize
