Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
Small penises have feelings too.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
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