If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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