I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
