Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
