How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
