My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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