sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Randomize
