I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
