Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
