i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
