You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
