his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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