For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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