id be glad to
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
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I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
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Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
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