you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Randomize
