I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
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I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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