Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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