the day after is always just damage control
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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