the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
