you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
