is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Randomize
