Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
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