she woke up with a sticky ear
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
