You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
