yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
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