You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
