Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
