Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
