I just made out with a guy for $7.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
You made out with two different species that night
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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