the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Randomize
