I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize