I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
