That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
