Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
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I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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