I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize