Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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