Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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