fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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