I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
