How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
