If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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