On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
honey bunches of taint.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
