Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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