my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
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My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
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Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
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