Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
