i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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