my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I came so hard my ears popped.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
